Raw LLM Responses

I'm the target audience for A.I. image generation. I am a writer who thinks very visually, often thinking about how things look before or at the same time as its storytelling themes and elements. I like to write fantasy and other speculative genres. I also have trouble learning to draw. I don't have NO artistic talent (perspective, composition, and proportions my boyfriend commends me on), but what I have is a whole heap of frustration and failure-based trauma that makes it tough for me to keep learning. I'll get excited and gung-ho about drawing and then sit down and do a practice piece or two, but when I finish it, I look at it and I feel personally worthless. Like mentally ill levels of unhealthy. Whereas anytime I have the money to scrape together enough for a commission, I am always enamored with the result. If I could snap my fingers and have commission-level work of my OCs or illustrations for my stories, I'd be set, right? But between the theft and the environmental cost, I am disgusted by it. Nothing it produces tickles my brain the way art does because it doesn't have anything actually behind it. If it was made by a human, I'd scroll on past it and never give it a second look. Definitely understand the desire to have my own quick art that doesn't make me feel bad about myself, and would love any tips on how to avoid that feeling if you've had the same. That said, I feel that way because I'M POOR not because I don't want to pay artists. If I was rich I'd be one of those art patron rich guys, just throwing money around to artists to make incredible stuff. But I'm not. I'm poor. And even as bad as my art makes me feel I'm gonna keep trying. This year I finally made a handful of designs I'm genuinely happy with, so I already know I'm getting better.