Raw LLM Responses

I'm a disabled artist, and I'm not gonna sugarcoat anything about this. AI is very alluring, i can't put pen to paper for more than a couple minutes without suffering some pretty bad pain (I refuse to get hooked on painkillers, which is my only option left medically to help my situation). I understand the appeal, and I often find myself wishing to use it. I have the urge to create but a body that fails to allow me to. Why should i suffer in agony to produce something when i can prompt something to do it for me? Now, i don't actually use it, because everyone i know would crucify me for doing so, some would do the same just for thinking about using it like i do. But what am i supposed to do? I suffer for days to get a sketch that looks like what my partner could make in minutes. It's disheartening. I actively avoid trying to create anymore because I sincerely cry over my inability sometimes. I just feel like I'm someone who has fallen through the cracks of this AI art war. I don't approve of the way some of these steal other artwork, but would it be so bad for someone like me, someone who can't hold a pen properly, someone who can't produce anything without days of agonizing effort, someone who has tried many different "solutions" to their problems each of which failed, to use an AI that was ETHICALLY trained to produce something? Adobe Firefly is exclusively trained on Adobe stock photos that Adobe owns all the rights to inside and out. Every bit of data fed to it comes from an artist who was paid and consented to let adobe use their artworks in this manner. I don't currently use AI anything, because again, I'd lose all my friends if I did, I'm surrounded by artists. I *want* to create, hell i *need* to at times... But i can't... What does someone in my position do? Give money i don't have to said artist friends and commission them? Beg them for handouts amongst commission queues keeping them busy for months at a time? Get addicted to opiates so i can bear the pain of drawing a simple sketch?