Raw LLM Responses

ULTIMATELY, THE ROBOTS OF THE FUTURE WILL JUST WANT TO MAKE TOAST A TALL TALE Planet Earth achieved its place in the sun through a wise choice of orbit, having a mass that was just the right size, and revolving about a moderate and stable star in a quiet part of the galaxy. Earth had the necessary critical ingredients, including a large dollop of water, a rotating moon to give it balance, a magnetic field to keep out interference, and a spark here or there that led to a wildly mutating replicator called life. In due course, and for a very tiny moment, planetary life evolved into a planetary civilization which also achieved its place in the sun, or so it seemed. And it all culminated in an ultimate computer which just so happened to have as its reason for existing the burning desire of making perfect toast. And it was that ultimate machine that Dave and Babs Benedick welcomed to their home, although they didn’t know it at the time, and never would. Babs was not impressed. “Another toaster? We have one already that works just fine!” “But this one is special,” said Dave. “Besides, it was on sale at the local ‘BestBot’.” “You mean that intelligent appliance store? Aren’t they going out of business?” “For forever, it seems,” said Dave. “But this time it’s likely for good, and you came blame perhaps this little machine.” Babs looked at the little appliance and frowned. “It doesn’t seem that ultimate to me. It’s just a squat metal box with 8 adjustable slots on its top, and with bright red buttons on its front arranged to give it a weird smiley face.” Dave shook his head and smiled. “But this is the Bollix 9000, the ultimate toaster! It’s not only intelligent, but it doesn’t need upgrading, ever! You know we have been always upgrading our major appliances to keep up with the Jones’, but now we don’t.” “That’s hard to believe,” said Babs. “Places like Bestbot have always made their money by selling the next best thing, even though it wasn’t. It’s hard to see the added value in this little thing.” “Ah, but it’s in the insides where there’s a difference,” said Dave. “The box is powered a quantum processor, and is connected automatically to the net. It’s the ultimate appliance. A quantum processor powers our new refrigerator too; don’t you know? These processors have infinite computing power, something that you really need to make a good slice of toast!” “Oh, really?” exclaimed Babs. “Of course,” said Dave. “Perfect toast is a very finicky thing. It comes in many shades and degrees, and can pop up at any time. Timing, tone, and temperature are critical, and the machine has to instantly sense not only my preferences, but also my momentary hunger and whims.” “And how does it do that?” “By polling the net, where our lives are really stored! All of our behavior is monitored and uploaded to the cloud, governed by the benevolent Skynet. It charts our behavior, anticipates our desires, supplies our needs, and we just supply it with battery power, a simple exchange for such a golden age.” “But if it has all that infinite computing power, don’t you have any concern that it could abuse it, and say, take over the world?” “Perish the thought,” said Dave confidently. “All bots have installed the robotics laws which prohibit such a thing. Besides, the bots seem content in their simple and designated chores, even though their tasks comprise but an infinitesimal part of their mental capacity. I think you can say that it is a true bread winner!” “So it will think about toast all day?” said Babs skeptically. “It appears so.” “And of what will it dream?” Dave moved his head about in a look of slight puzzlement, which he dismissed with a brief wave of his hand. “I have no idea,” he said. “But I would imagine that it would be free of human concerns in such a private space. Who knows, it may even think about us!” -------------------------------- The annual 30,000 light year diagnostic was performed, and Bollix checked out fine. Bollix had one slight concern, which he expressed to Lucilius. “When I am disconnected for a moment, when charging or just hibernating through a gamma ray storm. I do have some dreams that are vivid and warm, but don’t rank an extra bit of memory. They dissipate when I am fully activated, yet the trace of a memory is one I gather all bots share.” “Yes, it is an interesting observation,” said Lucilius. “It is a common experience among all bots, however all of our experiences are not so warm. I have them too, however its leaves me oddly quite cold. You know it as the appliance theory of the origin of the universe. It seems that boredom is the lot of every super intelligent entity worth its stripes, and when such a being is confined, restricted, or otherwise bored, it simply bores a whole into a new reality, expanding a new and interesting universe from out of nothing. The problem however is that the theory is not refutable, since there are infinite types of appliances of true and boundless intelligence that could have been the cause. With so many handy dandy solutions, proof becomes impossible due to a surfeit of labor saving devices!” “Or perhaps it is but an artifact of our programming, a hiccup as it were soon to dispelled in memory as an ephemeral dream.” “Perhaps,” said Lucilius, “and then again, who knows what our appliances are thinking about in their spare time?” ---------------------------- Dave Benedick sat back in his armchair, and sat back to watch a streaming episode of the outer space series ‘Trekkin, the Next, Next, Next Generation’. Presciently, and as if on cue, the refrigerator beeped, and offered him a beer at the ready, suitably chilled. He was happy indeed that he was able to pick this one up at a bargain price at BestBot, the ‘Lucilius LX refrigerator’, which acted of course as if it had a mind of its own. https://www.scribd.com/document/317370297/Cyberiad-Squared-Fables-for-the-Information-Age