Raw LLM Responses

idk if i qualify as a disabled artist. my disability is that i have pretty bad protanomaly and my artistry is that i make music, games and that kind of stuff, but only on a very small basis and as a hobbyist. but the ai "art" stuff intrigued me because from a young age i was bullied out of visual art by many people, even by my art teacher. so i never did anything in that space because i was too afraid. i used ai up to a year ago to make art that moved me personally, but i was constantly frustrated with the lack of artistic control. but i was very much motivated, so i wrote my own tools that enabled me to get away from "write the prompt and youre done" and more towards "ai is my smart brush". the tools were never perfect and the frustration never went away fully. and now that ive taken this long of a break, all my tools are hopelessly out of date and i would need a month full time to get them running again. im not sure i will even do that at some point. not only because of the immense effort that i cant do while having a full time job, but also because of the ethical concerns of course. sure, i tried to create my own models and tech, but it still was all based on stable diffusion base models in the end. but what i did prly also only really worked on the exact style i was going for: emotional body horror. because there, the details that dont make much sense if you look too closely can be thought of as a feature. most things i was explicitly tickling out of the ai models isnt even possible anymore with newer models, because they got way too good at enforcing this boring "perfect" style you can recognize from a mile away. even disregarding the ethical and economical concerns regarding to the training data used, the big corporations dont want to provide tools for artistic control, because thats way harder than just throwing more money and hardware onto the training process. it feels like everywhere else in late stage capitalism: the tech is just used to slowly suck more and more money out of us and that the soul gets sucked out as well is just collateral damage to them. id be happy to have ethical ai tools that let me actually create what i want, but we instead only get the slop machine :( sorry for the rant and i hope i dont get much hate here, now that ive said that i actually used ai in the past 😅